Dear Eighteen
An ode to a post called "Dear Seventeen" that held all my hopes and dreams for what I believe to be one of the best ages to be alive. Below lies my goodbye to that year and my hopes for the one to come.
Dear Seventeen,
Hello again, you seem so different now. You were a weird little age, indeed. You were absolutely lovely - a bit of fun, a bit of rebellion, and so, so much love.
You were loved this year. Not only by others, but you learned to love yourself and the vessel that carries you far more than you ever did before. You found peace in more than you ever thought you would. You found creativity in your beauty as well as your brokenness. You were stupid, you were bold, and you never forgot to live with abandon. Your moments were filled with good coffee and good wine and way too many good late nights.
You started with a wonderfully spontaneous decision and met one of your best friends. You danced in the rain, in the dark, on a stage, and on a lovely Sunday afternoon. You pushed your creative brain and you loved harder. You climbed out on the roof and talked until your toes were numb from the cold. You drove with the windows down in the rain and in the sun. You laughed and cried and jumped at every opportunity to wonder at beauty. You listened to some beautiful sounds, discovered more, and remembered to jam to the shitty stuff too. You made out on a hilltop with city lights beneath your toes and sang on a blanket under star-soaked skies. You went skinny dipping at 2 a.m. and drank milkshakes on the first night that felt like home. You curled under a blanket on the roof of a car and talked until the morning of things beyond grasp. You spent days with no plans and left room for adventure.
You left room in your heart to be surprised by every breaking dawn and your fierceness grew more poignant in the face of everlasting hope. You yelled and screamed and said nasty things, yet you've learned how they hurt and you've been shown more forgiveness then you ever could return. You fell in love and you felt heartbreak more painful than any other brokenness. You learned to trust your heart, even when reason seemed against it. You tasted freedom and you've seen the beauty also in being loved You have grown, my love, so very much. You're ever softening heart is never made weakened by its capacity for love, such love you've known well this year.
You have learned and loved and lived far more than you hoped. And as you face the next one, you will never forget how much of you seventeen has changed.
It is 12 A.M. and you are 18 now and you can't sleep for all the hopes of the first year on your own.
There will be more pain this year, my beloved, as much as there always seems to be. But with each new year of living, every new suffering brings us closer to such a unique beauty that is only found in vulnerability. So may your heart only continue to be softened.
You fell in love; this year, you may fall harder. You felt pain; this year you may feel it more. You found peace; this year you may live in it. You fought discord; this year you may fight it louder. You tasted passion; this year you may meet it again. You suffered loss; this year you may lose more. You saw joy; this year you may see it blossom.
Do not be afraid. Along with every beautiful piece of your childhood, do not forget to lose your wonder. I hope you never forget the taste of sticky popsicles and hands held against the cheek of a lover. I hope you never forget your dreams and that let these shape where you will go. Never let your childhood be lost amongst the broken wonder of being independent.
I hope you see more this year and love even harder than you have. Be unafraid of brokenness, unafraid of doubt; step into each with the grace of open hands, and the courage to remain creative. I hope you walk braver, talk louder, and stop apologizing for every lovely opinion.
Once again,
Your lovely self, - Z
Dear Seventeen,
Hello again, you seem so different now. You were a weird little age, indeed. You were absolutely lovely - a bit of fun, a bit of rebellion, and so, so much love.
You were loved this year. Not only by others, but you learned to love yourself and the vessel that carries you far more than you ever did before. You found peace in more than you ever thought you would. You found creativity in your beauty as well as your brokenness. You were stupid, you were bold, and you never forgot to live with abandon. Your moments were filled with good coffee and good wine and way too many good late nights.
You started with a wonderfully spontaneous decision and met one of your best friends. You danced in the rain, in the dark, on a stage, and on a lovely Sunday afternoon. You pushed your creative brain and you loved harder. You climbed out on the roof and talked until your toes were numb from the cold. You drove with the windows down in the rain and in the sun. You laughed and cried and jumped at every opportunity to wonder at beauty. You listened to some beautiful sounds, discovered more, and remembered to jam to the shitty stuff too. You made out on a hilltop with city lights beneath your toes and sang on a blanket under star-soaked skies. You went skinny dipping at 2 a.m. and drank milkshakes on the first night that felt like home. You curled under a blanket on the roof of a car and talked until the morning of things beyond grasp. You spent days with no plans and left room for adventure.
You left room in your heart to be surprised by every breaking dawn and your fierceness grew more poignant in the face of everlasting hope. You yelled and screamed and said nasty things, yet you've learned how they hurt and you've been shown more forgiveness then you ever could return. You fell in love and you felt heartbreak more painful than any other brokenness. You learned to trust your heart, even when reason seemed against it. You tasted freedom and you've seen the beauty also in being loved You have grown, my love, so very much. You're ever softening heart is never made weakened by its capacity for love, such love you've known well this year.
You have learned and loved and lived far more than you hoped. And as you face the next one, you will never forget how much of you seventeen has changed.
It is 12 A.M. and you are 18 now and you can't sleep for all the hopes of the first year on your own.
There will be more pain this year, my beloved, as much as there always seems to be. But with each new year of living, every new suffering brings us closer to such a unique beauty that is only found in vulnerability. So may your heart only continue to be softened.
You fell in love; this year, you may fall harder. You felt pain; this year you may feel it more. You found peace; this year you may live in it. You fought discord; this year you may fight it louder. You tasted passion; this year you may meet it again. You suffered loss; this year you may lose more. You saw joy; this year you may see it blossom.
Do not be afraid. Along with every beautiful piece of your childhood, do not forget to lose your wonder. I hope you never forget the taste of sticky popsicles and hands held against the cheek of a lover. I hope you never forget your dreams and that let these shape where you will go. Never let your childhood be lost amongst the broken wonder of being independent.
I hope you see more this year and love even harder than you have. Be unafraid of brokenness, unafraid of doubt; step into each with the grace of open hands, and the courage to remain creative. I hope you walk braver, talk louder, and stop apologizing for every lovely opinion.
Once again,
Your lovely self, - Z
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